Family of 5
In case you are wondering, this is the longest I have gone without being pregnant in the last 2 years! I told my husband this after work today and he asked me how I felt about it. Honestly, it’s a weird mixed feeling. It’s nice not being pregnant! However, the fact that I know I will not be having anymore children is…not sad, but somehow hard to settle with LOL.
When I was growing up, I had no idea how to deal with little kids. They made me nervous and the fact that they asked so many questions just freaked me out! I didn’t hold very many babies. It took me close to 8 months to hold my brother because he was born with a brachial plexus injury, so you had to pick him up a certain way, and he was in a cast for a majority of the “baby” timeframe, so I just didn’t hold him if I didn’t have to. Even though I didn’t really deal with kids the best when I was growing up, I always knew I wanted children of my own one day. I always had in my mind that I would have at least 6 kids.
Cody, my husband, and I LOVE our babies. All three of them just bring us so much joy, but they also bring us STRESS. We stress over finances, finding back-up sitters, making sure the kids have everything they need, and making sure we are doing everything we can to raise these kids right.
Anxiety is also something that has come from having kids. I was never an anxious person but now I get anxious over the smallest things. Just leaving the house, with or without children, makes me anxious. If I have the kids, I get anxiety about how the outing will go. If I do not have the kids, then I get anxiety about something happening to them when I am not there.
Due to the stress and anxiety that we are experiencing, Cody and I decided that a family of five will be the perfect size for us. In the long run I know that we will experience SO many happy, great, and amazing times with these three kids but the thought of not having anymore babies in the house is sad!
I read something recently that said, “you don’t want more babies, you just miss when your kids were babies” and that hit me hard! Yes, I know I still have two babies. However, in the 9 months since having the twins I have watched my oldest grow TREMENDOUSLY! He has developed so quickly and is truly turning into a little man! It breaks my momma heart because I know that my babies will be grown in a blink of an eye. Nine months from now the twins will be over a year old and Kaison will be almost 3!!!! I will not have babies in the house in less than 9 months!
Time really does go fast and when you have something to measure it by it seems to go by faster. So even though we will not be welcoming a new baby into our home again, as hard as that pill is to swallow, I know that time will bring many more adventures our way and I cannot wait to experience these with the three little bundles of joy we have right now!
The Brown family, family of 5…..yup, I like the sound of that!
