Loss of a loved one
Along with the issues I was having this pregnancy, my husband and I also experienced the loss of a loved one right before the 4-month mark.
On Easter morning, we woke up to a phone call from my husband’s sister. She was crying and my husband immediately knew something was wrong. She informed us that his uncle, which was a father figure to him, had passed away unexpectedly due to a heart attack the night before. We didn’t know what to do. If you have read my precious blog posts, you will remember that my husband is from California, and we live in Kansas where I grew up. My husband was ready to book a flight out there asap, however I did not feel comfortable flying due to the issues I had been experiencing. Plus, I didn’t want to take my medication on the plan with me.
We went to Easter lunch at my grandma’s. Everyone knew what had happened and my father who lost his dad at age 12 basically was the one that said, “just go”. My parents agreed to take care of our St. Bernard, so we packed our bags and ended up getting in my husband’s truck and starting the 28-hour drive to Modesto, CA that evening around 5pm.
We got out there as fast as we could, we did not mess around with stopping if it was unnecessary. Some might think that doing a road trip like this is crazy, but we really enjoy road tripping and had made this drive two times prior, so we knew where we were going.
The first night we ended up driving till about 3am. We decided to pull over and rest for three hours before hitting the road again. The second day we drove from 6am- 12am. This was a long stretch that consisted of throwing up multiple times in plastic grocery bags (good thing we packed plenty), repositioning every 20 minutes just to try and get comfortable, and stopping every couple hour to use the restroom. Stopping to use the restroom was very hard for me because I am the type of traveler who will not stop unless I’m on the verge of peeing my pants, so this was a new experience for me!
On the third day of the trip, we only had a few hours left to go so we decided to sleep in till 8am, this way we were well rested after a crazy couple days of driving. We ended up arriving at his family’s house around 11am that day.
If you decide to travel when pregnant make sure to continue to drink plenty of water and pack healthy snacks. I know it makes the trip seem longer when you have to stop more to use the restroom but it’s going to not only help you feel better in the long run, but you need to stay hydrated and get your daily intake of water in.
My husband’s uncle was a great man and was so excited to be a grandpa. He would text me every week asking for a size update on the baby. We started at the size of a pea and then the last week he texted me was at the 13-week gestational mark which put baby at the size of a plum.
Even though Jeff, my husband’s uncle, never met our baby in person we know that he is always looking over us. I know personally that Jeff would be so proud of my husband and of the father he has become.
There are little marks that babies are born with that people say come from loved ones who have passed. Kaison was born with a “strawberry” on the back of his head. This is said to be the kisses of loved ones who have passed. He was also born with a very deep philtrum (the groove between the nose and lips). It’s said that if someone is born with a deep philtrum that their guardian angel pressed it down with their finger. Now, we know these are just fun tales but how fun is it to think that our loved ones who have passed are still showing us in little ways that they are present and looking out for our babies?
This trip was filled with many emotions. My husband had to write a eulogy that he was not ready to write. We faced many teary eyes that no amount of hugs could dry. Losing Jeff was hard for us but to honor him we used his middle name, Lloyd, as our baby’s middle name.
